A Birthday and A Funeral

When you were growing up, was there an age that you thought was "old"? Was there a certain age that automatically deemed someone "old". I know for me when I was very young it was always forty. The big four zero. I don't know why it was forty. It just always was. I mean as I grew older I realized that forty isn't that old at all. In fact some are just finding their place in the world at this age. Some in fact still haven't grown up. But it is clear to me today, that forty is no where near "old".

It's tough to think about today, because this morning my wife and I attended the funeral of someone who lost the battle with cancer at just 38. This individual however, won at life. His name was JC, and he was spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ right up until his final breath. Jesus was number one in his life. He is survived by a son less than 2 months old, and a wife whom he married in Jan of last year. Tanja and I were blessed to be touched by JC's gifts over the last few years. It was incredible to see the countless people at the funeral this morning and the service itself was just as JC would have wanted it. JC's love for Christ and the gospel were both at the forefront throughout the entire service. It was an honor to be there.

Processing JC's passing this week has brought about some pain for different reasons. See when I was in my late teens and twenties, it was not uncommon for me to state that my health didn't matter because I wasn't reaching forty anyways. I don't know why that was always the number, but the worst of a life I led, the more that saying became a theme for me. There were several years of my life where the choices I was making, I honestly had no expectation to reach forty years of age. Thankfully the law intervened after over a decade of bad decisions, and my life began to take a turn. Ultimately building a real relationship with God, and discovering who I am in Christ led me to an entirely different life, and I'm forever grateful for that. But this past week I felt some guilt at times over that saying I lived by for so long.

Yesterday I did turn 40. And other than carrying a few extra pounds, I'm overall pretty healthy. My check ups always seem to go better than they should. My heart works well, even after some damage earlier in life. I'm blessed to be married to a woman who is incredibly supportive, and I get to be a girl dad to the most amazing sixteen month old. My life isn't just still going, it's thriving, and this past year has by far been the best year of my life. In the next 14 months, Lord willing, I will have completed my program at Charis Bible College, and figured out where and what He is leading me to. To say my life is really almost just beginning at forty would be a pretty accurate statement. In fact, we are more blessed today than we have ever been. God continues to reveal himself to us more and more each and every day through his Word.

Today instead of living by a belief that I can do whatever because I won't live to forty anyway, I can live in constant thankfulness for the life I'm blessed to lead today. I'm thankful for so much today. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my friends. I'm thankful that God continues to use me constantly in the lives of others. I'm thankful for the ability to have an open line of communication with Him. I'm thankful that I learned to allow others to love me, and I'm thankful that this new life that I have been born again into is full of a tremendous love for others. Even when tragedy strikes, I remain thankful. Through peaks and valley's I remain thankful. When we lost our first pregnancy, we remained thankful. When we lost Luca, we remained thankful. It's not easy, it's not always automatic. But remaining thankful has brought us so much joy through it all.

Today, we were able to worship, singing some of JC's favorites. It was incredible. To be in a room full of people just lifting their voices and their hands to God in celebration of who God is, but also who JC was in Christ. It brought goosebumps. There was so much emotion in the room. However there was a moment I will truly never forget. JC's parents, who also love the Lord, were both raising their hands to heaven, worshiping, and singing about the goodness of God. Bob's hand shaking, holding his wife Berta with her hand raised to Him as well. It's truly a moment I will never forget. This in fact is the thing the enemy hates more than any other thing. A family grieving, a family in pain, a family hurting so much, yet still lifting their hands to God singing of his goodness. If that's not a testament of a family that loves God with everything, I don't know what is. Honestly, I hope to become half the man JC was in Christ. He lived unashamed in a way few ever have and few ever will. So this years birthday has been a little different. It was processing the life I used to live and the thoughts associated with that, while grieving the loss of someone else who unfortunately won't see forty years of age. However we are all so incredibly grateful for the time that we were blessed by JC. And as long as you have received the gift of eternal life, we have a pretty awesome reunion happening someday, when we will be able to worship alongside him again, but this time for all of eternity!

I'll leave you with a couple verses that were shared this morning, and are the foundation of our faith.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:16-17 (NIV)