"How Are You Doing?"

Yesterday, while at lunch with a friend, I was asked, “How are you doing?”  This question was delivered in a way that was deeply asking, truly, how I was doing.  I responded, while still processing how I am REALLY doing, with “I really think I may be in the best place I have ever been, I’m doing really, really well.”  Immediately I began identifying the things that have led me to this place that seems filled with joy and peace.  It was immediately clear to me the things that have led me to this feeling and I am excited to share them with you today in hopes that these same things might lead you, your spouse, and your family to a similar place if you aren’t there already!  

Before I do that, having been asked and responding honestly to this question made me think more about the question itself.  So often we are asked how we are doing in various ways.  In passing someone might ask, “Hey, how are you guys?”.  When doing so, most aren’t expecting a true answer.  Most aren’t truly asking to inquire about your current well being and honestly, most are hoping for a quick, short answer.  This is where building relationships with deep roots is important.  If this friend hadn’t asked how we are doing in a very intentional and meaningful way, I don’t know if I would have been afforded the opportunity to reflect on just how good of a place I have found myself in.  

So what has led me to this place of peace, joy, and immense thankfulness?  Well a few things.  First and by far I think the thing that has benefited me the most has been the amount of time I have been spending in the Word.  I’m not talking about just a daily devotional.  Or a “quiet time” to start the day, but instead an intentional basking in His presence through His Word.  I find myself opening the Bible app several times throughout the day and reading a few chapters.  Today happens to be Friday, and I intentionally keep Friday mornings open to relax.  Kind of a reset.  I still wake up around 5:30 or 6, so I spend that first hour or two just reading.  I pray that he speaks to me through wherever I’m currently at and that he implants passages within me that can be used to minister to myself and to others.  And then I just simply read His Word.  When I find myself waiting at an appointment that I have taken my mother to, instead of opening a game on my phone, I find myself opening the Bible app. In these times, I’m not doing a deep study.  I’m not cross referencing.  I’m not looking up the Greek and the Hebrew meanings of the passages.  I’m just reading. 

This morning I came across a verse as I ended Ecclesiastes, Chapter 10, Verse 10. “Using a dull ax requires great strength, so sharpen the blade.  That’s the value of wisdom; it helps you succeed.” (NLT)  And what do you know, just a couple hours later, I found myself in conversation with Tanja’s step-mother, where just this verse was applicable.  It is much more difficult to navigate anything in life without wisdom, and we sharpen that ax through spending time in His Word.  Psalm 119:105 reminds us that His Word is a lamp unto our feet. And then 2 Timothy 3:16-17 drives home the importance of scripture so that we may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.  There are so many instances where God directly speaks to us through His Word, but also important is the way He speaks to us through us just spending time in scripture and prioritizing Him.  There is no greater way to express our yearning for our creator than to spend time in the Bible.  

When someone comes to me for counsel, one of the very first things I ask them is “How much time are you spending in the Word?”  How are we to expect to hear from Him if we aren’t digging into the wisdom He has already given us? If we aren’t prioritizing intentional time in the Word, do we have any right to question why we feel like we haven’t been hearing from God in a certain area?  I don’t say all this to toot my own horn, or pat myself on the back.  Instead I share this as encouragement.  It wasn’t always easy or natural for me to read 20-30 chapters a day outside of my normal bible college work, Life Group studies and what not.  In fact it’s a somewhat new thing for me to spend so much time intentionally sharpening my ax.  It has also been a gradual increase over time.  To be honest though, it has become much easier and much more natural for me to carve out several times a day, when the results are undeniable.  There is a direct correlation between the amount of time I spend reading scripture to the amount of peace, joy, love, and thankfulness that exist in my life.  There is no greater correlation than the time I spend in the Word.  

A second newer change that has occurred in my life is that my wife Tanja and I have been going through a daily devotional together.  We are currently using “The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional” by Gary Chapman.  To be honest, we don’t always get it done every day.  Sometimes we have to play catch up.  Sometimes we find ourselves having to do two or three in a day.  But we are beginning to form the habit.  Not every daily devotional is breathtaking.  Some of them don’t even really apply to our relationship, but it’s the intentionality between me and my wife that we are going to prioritize our relationship with each other, right under our relationship with God.  We find ourselves discussing things we wouldn’t be navigating if it wasn't for the devotional.  We find out more and more about each other.  Then there are the random devotionals that bring up areas that teach us how we can love each other better.  Tanja and I have been doing a bible reading plan together for several months now and that has been great, but the value we are gaining in discussing different topics within our relationship almost daily has been incredible.  I pray that this new practice becomes a habit, and we find ourselves missing less days and playing catch up less often.  Just like time in scripture, the rewards that we see birth from this make it easier and easier to prioritize.  Tanja and I have different schedules.  I’m usually up much earlier, and sometimes out of the house before she arises.  Our night time schedules can be off at times as well.  So this means we have to be intentional about prioritizing time for these devotions, but through that we are showing each other that we value our marriage above all but our relationships with the Father.  

The third thing I want to share with you that has helped me answer the “How are you doing” question the way in which I did is one word, Community.  The further we plant our roots at New Life, the more outward they grow.  The relationships we built early on have become deep, and as those roots spread, we find ourselves in community with more and more people.  I can’t emphasize enough how important community is to our joy today.  

Recently a family in our church received some difficult news and their young son has begun chemo treatments.  It wasn’t that long ago that our family found ourselves with an extended stay at Children’s Mercy Hospital as well.  I remember the people that stopped by to love on us and remind us that we were not alone.  Those people came because we were in community with them.  This afternoon, we get the opportunity to pay it forward and spend some time with this family in our church that is going through the unthinkable.  We get to go love on them a little bit.  Why?  Because they are a part of our community.  Digging deep and wide roots within your church family creates opportunities to love and to be loved.  If that’s not a recipe for joy, peace, and love, I don’t know what is.

This past year has had its tough moments.  As many know, we lost a mid term pregnancy that was devastating.  We had the stay at Children's Mercy that was incredibly scary while Oakley fought for her life for a few days.  But through it all, we know that we serve a good, good God. And today I am thankful that He is there every step of the way.  I am thankful for the grace He continually gives us.  I’m thankful that the process of spiritual maturity is never ending, and that it’s about progress and not perfection.  I’m thankful for the few years of learning, and falling flat on my face that has led me to where I can truly say that I am in the best place I have ever been.  I’m also already incredibly thankful for what is yet to come.  Because I know I serve a God who loves me more than I will ever understand.  I know I serve a God that allows me to confidently say that the best IS yet to come!  

So I encourage you to be intentional.  Get in the Word.  Prioritize the relationships in your life that matter most.  Dig roots in your local church deep and wide.  These three things will reap the rewards of joy, peace, love, and thankfulness that keep you digging even deeper in all these areas! 

“Study this Book of Instruction continually.  Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.  Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” Joshua 1:8 (NLT)

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7 (NLT)