Imperfection

So many times in the past I saw imperfection in Christian leaders and I used those imperfections to justify my own decisions to run in the opposite direction. Really, I just used these moments as an opportunity to justify the desires of my flesh. Lately, I have been witness to so much deconstruction talk on social media and it reminded me so much of an area of my own life that I have a history of struggling with. To be quite honest, I still find myself struggling with it from time to time.

See, it wasn’t all that long ago that I too was stubborn, misinformed, and ignorant. I criticized and ridiculed Christian’s for falling short. I judged Christianity as a whole when someone wouldn’t measure up to an expectation of perfection. I would see a popular pastor make a mistake and I too would be the first to judge them. I would see leaders within whatever church I was attending at the time, “fall short” of whatever expectation I had for them. That expectation was usually unfair and demanded nothing short of perfection. In doing so, I was missing the entire point of the Christian faith. That God loves us so much that he continues to allow us to fall flat on our face over and over and over and he still extends us a grace that we in no way deserve. That God sending his son to die in our place affords us salvation which covers every single one of our inequities.

It is that grace that is so incredibly difficult to understand in the first place. I remember processing through the relationship with my father, or at the time, the lack thereof. I had forgiven him of any past transgressions, and I had also forgiven myself of the many mistakes made within the relationship over the years. However I had never removed the expectation of perfection. I had never understood the need to extend grace to others in such a huge way until I began to open my eyes to what was holding me back in this area. The grace that God extends to me is unwavering. It isn’t based on my actions. It isn’t taken back if I continue to fall short. God doesn’t change his mind if my sins of the past are monumental, or if they are as small as an ant hill. One person isn’t extended more or less grace than another. Instead it’s just Grace. It’s the ultimate forgiveness of our transgressions, past, present, and future. There are no limitations.

If God can forgive me of absolutely everything I have ever done without question; without qualification. If literally every mistake I have ever made is completely forgotten by the God who knows absolutely everything. If the God who does not see time, can see our entire life already and know every way in which we have and will fall short at the same time, and he still chooses to not only forgive us but to love us more than we can even understand. Then why can I not extend some level of grace to those around me. How can I expect God to forgive me if I’m not willing to forgive others and in turn stop demanding perfection after initial forgiveness. God would never ask that of us, even if we don’t understand it. In turn, how can I justify demanding that of others?

The enemy uses this expectation of perfection to pull people away from the faith. However, if they were perfect, they wouldn’t need grace. They wouldn’t have needed Jesus to pay the ultimate sacrifice. Thankfully we don’t get to heaven by maintaining some code of conduct or adhering to perfection after coming to Christ and receiving initial forgiveness, because if that were the case Heaven would be a very empty place. Instead Christianity should force us to be a constant work in progress. Drawing nearer to God and in turn improving our decisions and behaviors. Slowly, what once we couldn’t dream of happening, begins to slowly become reality. Things that may have been a large part of our life begin to fade away, replaced by our longing to draw nearer to him. A prime example of this in my own life was poker. Poker prior to coming back to God, was a huge part of my life. I spent most of the year traveling the country to play in various games and experience new places. I couldn’t fathom my life ever not revolving around the game I loved so deeply. Then after truly building a relationship with God for the first time, slowly those things that mattered so much began to lose importance. Then one day, what once was the center of my life, had been completely replaced and poker was no longer something I was interested in pursuing. Simply through growing closer to God, this massive part of my life had been completely removed from my life. I didn't start with the expectation of changing what was at the center of my life. I didn't even start out by trying to stop playing poker. Instead, I focused on drawing closer to him, and over time, it just happened.

Today I don’t see imperfection in Christians as a sign that faith is not real. Instead I see it as a reminder of God’s grace and ultimately Christ’s sacrifice for us. We will continue to fall short, no matter how close to God we become. The goal should not be working towards perfection. In fact, I’m coming to discover that when behavior change of any sort is the goal at all we will fail over and over and over. Instead our only focus, at all times, should be drawing closer to him; to recognizing who he is, and who we are in him. Through these things all else will fall into place.

So take a moment to remind yourself of who you are in him. You are a child of God. A child of the one true King. Perfection is not demanded of you, instead your pursuit of him is demanded. Don’t let your expectations of others pull you away from God. We all will fall short of perfection. Us, our church staffs, our pastors, christian leaders, influencers, your spouse, your best friend… we all will fall short over and over and over. So next time you see someone do just that, instead of judging them, stop and ask yourself how you can support that person? How can you be there for them? If you can’t, then pray for them. Use the situation as a reminder of the grace that has been extended in your own life.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT)

"For sin shall no longer be your master, becasue you are not under the law, but under grace." (Romans 6:14 NLT)