Loved People Love People

This week there was a video leaked from a professional basketball team’s practice in which a star player punched a much younger teammate whom he had taken under his wing. In an apology statement this player mentioned the commonly used thought that “hurt people hurt people” and it got me thinking. So often we hear this label used on those who are experiencing depression or negatively processing grief or even battling an emotional mountain in their life. But if hurt people hurt people, then could it be that loved people love people?

Earlier this year I was asked to travel alongside our church staff to attend a church leadership conference in Dallas, Texas. At the time I had made a commitment to God to just say “yes” to every opportunity that came my way within our church. So onward to Dallas I went. The leadership team at our church had been constantly showering Tanja and I with love ever since the day we walked in broken, defeated, grieving, just looking for an escape from the pain of losing our closest friend to suicide in our home. I had experienced, on the receiving end, a love that hadn’t been earned by any merit, a love that was undeserving, and most of the time, at the beginning, unreciprocated.

At this conference in Dallas, the pastor of the host church, Ed Young, and his wife, Lisa, shared the journey they had been on since the loss of their daughter. After sharing their very personal and touching story that so closely related to my own in many ways, they included all of us in singing “It Is Well With My Soul”. It was in this moment that I felt God’s complete and unending love wash over me in a way I had never felt before. It took everything in my power to not fall to the floor in praise of who I knew God to be in that moment. It was during this song being lifted up by church leaders from all over the country that I first allowed myself to be completely covered by God’s love. It was through this encounter with God that I truly internalized that I don’t have to come to him perfect, I don’t have to fix my issues, or process through the what seemed like unsurmountable grief before I come to him fully. Instead I can bring it all with me to him and he will be my comforter and my provider through it all.

It was on this trip that I experienced loved people loving people and in turn allowed myself to begin becoming a loved person who had a lot to learn about loving others but was willing to begin that journey. For some loving others comes easy and natural. They are, by nature, very thoughtful and caring. They often look around a room and take into account how every person will be affected by an action or a decision before taking into account their own feelings or desires. I am going to admit, this wasn’t me. I don’t know if it was my years away from God, in part, possibly my up-bringing, or if I had been living in the sin of pride for so long, but when I came to Christ I wasn’t very caring or thoughtful right away. So if this is you, don’t feel like you are alone at all but also know that there is hope. Fast forward to today and it is truly my passion to connect others and to minister and disciple others in their walk with God. Today I constantly find myself putting others needs before my own, while maintaining healthy boundaries and appreciation for my own needs as well. The thought of this balance at one time would have been hard to believe. I’m still not perfect, and I think pride is something many of us will battle for the rest of our lives here on earth, but it becomes easier and easier day by day. More of him, less of us. More of him, less of us. More of him, less of us.

So do hurt people hurt people? Of course. But just the same, do loved people love people? Absolutely, and I for one am so incredibly thankful that a group of believers within my local church did just that as it paved the path for not only the relationship I have with my creator today, but also the path that he is beginning to pave in my life to minister to others. Today I am thankful for the transformation that occurs within us when we truly seek his face. It’s not a transformation that happens when we “pray the prayer”, instead it is a transformation that is constantly ongoing and begins to take shape when we truly acknowledge who he is and begin to pursue him with absolutely everything in our being.

“Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” (Ezekiel 36:26)