Surrender

I haven't been one to anticipate a "word for the year" from God. It's not something I seek out to do. I don't pray that God gives me a word for the year, or close out a year looking for a singular focus for the next. However the last couple of years God has clearly placed specific words on my heart. I remember clearly last year when, little did I know, God was preparing me to take a stand for what I believe and "trust" Him. The word trust appeared almost everywhere for a few weeks, and in my time with God the subject of trust continued to come up almost daily. So I chose to embrace it, and I'm thankful I did. 2024 was a year where I had to trust His plan for my life entirely. I was giving up what was comfortable. I walked away from a clear path to ministry. But He was calling me to trust Him and His plan for my life.

Similarly this year the word "surrender" seemed to be popping up everywhere the last few weeks of 2024 and the first week of 2025. I remember having a conversation with my cousin about how crazy 2024 had ended. How, through having a daughter in the NICU leading up to Christmas, I wasn't enjoying my usual carved out one on one time with God. Although I found myself in prayer almost constantly during that time, I wasn't able to attend services on Sunday, and had been missing my isolated times of worship in my home office. Although I felt selfish in stating it, I missed those moments each day that my schedule at the end of the year just didn't allow for.

My cousin then sent me an image of John 15:5, that stated, "What if all your 2025 planning came down to these 7 words from Jesus? Apart from me you can do nothing." Just that morning I had come accross another image that stopped me in my tracks that simply said, "What if surrender is actually an embrace?" What a thought. What if my act of surrender in each area of my life, is actually a physical embrace? Could my surrender be viewed as me reaching out to hug Him? Does He possibly view my surrender as me falling into His arms? This images appearance was followed a couple hours later by a breakfast with someone where the conversation turned to surrender in everything, and in turn the importance of complete reliance.

Quickly I was realizing that 2025 would be a year where I would be focusing on "surrender". I would soon look up the definition of surrender, and it was right then I knew that this would be an intense year long adventure that I didn't know if I was quite ready for.

sur-ren-der (noun): the action of yielding one's person or giving up the possession of something especially into the power of another

How right I was.... little did I know the obstacles and challenges that would begin appearing quickly after the first of the year. Very quickly it would become very real to me just how often I would be focusing on this act of surrender. I would say it is similar to "daily picking up our cross" but I would soon discover that this surrender would be much more often than once a day. This wasn't going to be a recognition of my need to surrender each morning. Instead this was going to be an almost constant reminder of my need to surrender, over and over and over each day. A recognition came quickly that I must be surrendered to Him in everything, at all times. In fact, everything I do in life should be looked at through the lens of my surrender to Christ.

Mark 14:36 reminds us to ask Him for what He wants, not for what we want. This dive into surrender was powerful for me. It has changed my approach to almost everything already this year. It has changed the way I pray. It has changed the order of priorities in my life. It has changed my attitude towards others. When I truly surrender my own will, and I view others through the lens of Christ, my thoughts change. Any strife, resentment, or judgement quickly turns to an outpouring of love for that person.

See this year started off rough for us. I had begun raising support for my first two years in ministry at Pathway Church as their Associate Pastor. I had expected people here locally in Kansas to view my decision to take this position, even though I would need to raise my own support, in the same way that I did, as almost a missions opportunity. That the church was serving the community and impacting a city for Jesus through multiple mission focused ministries that exist within the church. I knew that Pathway has so much going on, that they need an Associate Pastor, but the funds aren't there to provide a salary, as their priorites have remained the same. Sow into the community above all else. Show Jesus to everyone they can, in every way they can. And spread the gospel at all costs both locally and to the ends of the earth.

So I expected others around me to be as excited as I was. I expected raising support wsa going to be somewhat easy, as I knew there were so many people around me that wanted to see the gospel spread, even if it is in another community. But I learned quickly that not everyone was as excited as I was. And I get it..... I mean they haven't been to the homeless camps that Pathway serves in Des Moines. They haven't traveled to Zimbabwe to see the impact that Pathway has on the other side of the globe. They haven't attended the seniors events, or the year round community outreach events. And to be honest, most have grown accustomed to a different church model.

At first I felt hurt. So many, even several very close to us, simply ignored us. I'd see people out and about, and they would want to schedule coffee or lunch, and then they would ignore a text to set up just that a couple days later. You want to isloate yourself? Start raising money! I can promise you it will work. But this was a true opportunity for growth for me. See I had to realize that not everyone sees this opportunity in the same way we do. Some have even questioned it, confused as to why would give up such a good life here. It also forced Tanja and I to really dive into how willing we are to answer the call that we know God is placing on our lives. And honestly, I think we have reached the point of being thankful for that initial response. There is no way I would know just how 100% sure and committed my wife is to this decision if we had not gone through this. It pushed us to sit down and commit, no matter what, not to our plan, but to His. We are fully confident that He has paved the way for us in this opportunity and that He will provide.

That brings me back to what has clearly become my word for the year, "surrender". I have had to fully surrender to His plan. There were days were I would question if we were making the right decision, and He never hesistated to remind me that we were. The phone would ring just then with another puzzle piece falling into place regarding the move. Or a text would come in from my uncle, the lead pastor, about his excitement for what God has planned. And we haven't just learned to surrender when it comes to raising support, we have had to learn to surrender in every area. We are currently living out of a house that is on the market. Always having to be ready for a showing, and having the house in pristine condition with two girls in diapers is pretty difficult. Talk about surrender....

Then there is our girls health. Our oldest has been beat down by constant double ear infections. In fact when this blog is scheduled to post in the morning, she will most likely be in surgery to get tubes placed. This should provide her with some relief, and some dramatically improved hearing. Our seven week old, her younger sister, got hit with RSV, and her pre mature body struggled to fight it. We ended up at Children's Mercy Hospital for about a week. Between the oxygen intervention, feeding tubes, and nutrient rejection, it was a difficult time. While making trips back and forth preparing our house for market and trying to do everything I could to make sure our 2 year old still knew she was loved and valued. Every moment was an act of surrender. I remember Tanja and myself looking at each other on day six of our youngest being in the hospital asking each other, "How does one survive on two hours of sleep a night while in situations like this. It's almost super human that we can feel so well rested each day and be able to do what needs done." Of course it was super human, it was definitely God.

So what we have learned to start the year already is that surrender is key. The funds will be raised. The house will sell. Our kids will survive. God does what He wants, and He has made it very clear that this move, and this position is what He has planned for us. We just need to surrender, continuously, in every area of our life.

And through that surrender, things continue to fall into place. We have secured housing up in the Des Moines area and will be moving in about a month, whether our house down here has sold yet or not (so keep that in your prayers). We have found a christian daycare with faith based curriculum for the girls to attend. And we are currently working on getting my parents up there as well. What a blessing they have been. It is a relief and a joy to know that they will be there. They have been so incredible to our two year old, and I can't wait to see the same with our youngest.

And then there is the support raising itself. We have had some friends and family step up in a big way. We have also committed to covering a good chunk of my salary ourselves for these first two years. So we still have a long way to go, but we are choosing to completely surrender to His plan for our lives. We know full well that He wouldn't be calling us if He didn't plan on providing for us.

So to those that are praying, please pray that God lines up the perfect buyer for our home in Kansas. We pray daily that they are blessed as much as we have been here. We pray over different rooms and those that will use those rooms in the future. We have chosen not to pray for the quickest sale possible, but instead for the right family to end up here. Whoever it is, will have been covered in massive amounts of prayer! And please continue to pray for the support raising efforts. That God will continue to place it on the hearts of those He calls to help support this great opportunity. We couldn't be more thankful to be walking in His plan for us!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He shall [a]direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Romans 6:13 NLT

And to those that want to give to the support raising efforts, you can do so here: https://secure.myvanco.com/L-Z49G/campaign/C-15ASE